My boyfriend and I are seriously discussing moving in together. Our relationship has been a lot of work so far and we've had many ups and downs, but I really love him and he really loves me. He's started talking to his landlord and a few of his friends about finding affordable places nearby but I'm just writing in to see what kind of advice you all have for me because I've never lived with a boyfriend before. We've started discussing things that annoy us about each other and how we could avoid arguments about those things — I feel like that's helped ease my worries, but I was wondering if you have any warnings/advice before we take this big step.

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I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, and we live together. I always knew he was flirtatious but never really thought anything of it. The last couple of months, though, things have been a bit weird — we've been fighting a lot and I felt like he was being secretive and hiding things from me. When I started to snoop, I found out that he had been emailing and messaging all sorts of different girls, sexually and completely inappropriately, on MySpace, Facebook, AIM, etc. I confronted him and he gave me a list of excuses: that he doesn't find me mentally stimulating so he goes outside of the relationship (online) for a quick fix, that he feels like our connection isn't there as much as it used to be, and that he thinks he has an online sex addiction.
His addiction claim sort of makes sense to me because he seems overly sex-crazed when it comes to looking at women online, but what makes me doubt it is that he only seeks out these women when we are in a fight! If it was truly a sex addiction, wouldn't he be doing it 24/7? If in fact it is a sex addiction, do I stay with him and try to work on this together or should I just leave the whole situation now before things get worse? I love him with all my heart but I don't know what to do. Please help!

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My boyfriend just broke up with me after a year of dating, he is going traveling for a year in Jan and just felt we wouldn't make the time apart. Despite the fact that we did many months apart and I moved to overseas to be closer to him and for grad school. I still love him I'm just mad he is giving up and he didn't talk to me about all this. We are going to take a break and if we are both willing later see if it will work out. We worked so well together and we were both so happy, he said he was still happy being with me just didn't feel he would be later. I think he is just scared of the commitment. I'm not sure. He wants to still be friends he is super big on that, I think he feels really bad and felt bad leaving me for a year. His decision makes some sense, i would just want to try to make it work. He is my first love but I'm not stupid ive watched many of my friends make relationship mistakes so i am not naive. I am still going to spend the holidays with him and his family as I cant go home. I would just love some support and advice. I'm completely heartbroken and lonely.

Hello all! Im 25 years old, and currently live with my boyfriend of four months. He recently moved to Ohio from California, we talked for about a month and half over the phone before we met.

Things are great, we are very happy and I believe he is the one. We spent alot of time together and it kind of just turned into me moving in with him. This is my first time living with a boyfriend, is it normal for us to not have sex as often as we did before I moved in?

I seem to be getting uptight about the smallest things, i think iam just not used to living with a boyfriend. I often find myself doubting our relationship over small stupid things, such as he didnt kiss me before he left the house or he wasnt excited to see me when he got home.

Alot of my friends have been telling me it has to do w the fact that we now live together and that drastically changes a relationship. I just need some help and advice....how do i stay sane and in love all while living together and adjusting! Thanks!

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of six years. Long story short, we were great friends but terrible lovers. He was truly my best friend but we rarely made time for each other outside of talking on the phone. In fact, I broke up with him on the phone. Before you judge, when I previously tried to do it in person, his bad reaction guilted me into staying in the relationship and I was afraid it would happen again.

Since the breakup, we've talked a few times via email; usually started by him. His sister tells me he is still angry and hurt, but misses me greatly. I have been having a hard time with the breakup — I feel guilty for hurting him and for breaking up with him over the phone. I have been seeing a therapist to work on my anger and resentment that has built up over the course of the relationship. I feel like I owe him an apology but I struggle with how to essentially say, "I care about you so much, miss you dearly, and think of you every day. You are my best friend but I don't want to date you."

So do I just let bygones be bygones and move on with my life? Or do I try to set up a get together so I can apologize about the way things went down?

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I dated my ex-boyfriend for over 3 years. We met at a bad time because I had just broken up with a boyfriend of 2 years. I felt really guilty and was trying to get over that. I definitely moved too fast with the new guy, and we were dating almost immediately. I expressed some doubt, because he has (surprise, surprise) major communication issues. He doesn't talk.

At 6 months in, I withdrew from school and moved home. So we were long distance for several months. When I decided to move back, I think it was too hard on him, and he broke up with me. That was 2 weeks before I was set to move back.

After I moved back, we had a terrible relationship for a while. We weren't "together" but we were sort of thing. It was awful. In October he moved away. I didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas, so he invited me to his new place (5 hours away.) I went. We got back together again.

We dated and things were good for another year and a half. All long distance though. I went back to school, and we decided we were going to try to end up in the same area of southern California. He moved, and I had a chance to transfer schools to that area. I was scared though, because of this huge communication issue. I was concerned that I'd leave my great life here and we would end up breaking up. I was scared to take the risk and I kept telling him mean things. So, he ended up breaking up with me again. This was in July of this year.

We didn't talk for a couple months, except for the occasional hate text I would send him. I was so hurt that he would break up with me out of nowhere! It was so painful.

This September I had a job interview in his neck of the woods, and we had been chatting. So he came up and we hung out. It was great, and I was sure we'd get back together. And I was so happy. Then he told me that he wasn't willing to date again unless I did get a job in that area. I was so upset, again. I went home, and I kept asking him for some closure. I wanted him to tell me it was never going to happen. Why just leave it open? Sew it up and move on.

Well, I got the job. He knows it, too. It's not looking good for us. And I so want to move on. I am so sad because deep down I feel like he loves me and wants to be with me, but my fears started scaring him too much. I can't concentrate though, and I want to just move on. How do I get over it? He's not going to give me the closure I want. He's awful at communicating. I really feel like I can't handle this anymore. Suggestions? Advice?

I have recently started dating a guy that is seven years older than me. I am not physically attracted to him, but there are certain things I like about him. He's a grown up (job and house), well-educated, and wants to start a family soon. He treats me well and I think he would be a great father and husband. So does it matter that I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I'm with him? Should I pursue this relationship because it makes sense? Puppy love and lust fade away eventually anyway, right?

If I've offended anyone lately being aggressive/cynical lately, I just want to apology. Hopefully I haven't taken it too far and still have given halfway decent advice. I guess I'm just not good at keeping my own emotions contained at times as there's a lot going on right now. Anyway, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry.

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. We live together, and I enjoy his company, and obviously, I am very much in love with him. He is affectionate in his own way. He'll give me pecks on the lips, he'll hug me occasionally, and once in a while he will make me dinner. He always holds my hand or has his arm around me in public places, which I really love.

I miss passion more than anything. We rarely have sex unless we are drunk, and I rarely get any deep, passionate kisses. I feel so much for him, and I want him to be more passionate and romantic. I have spoken to him many times about this before, and he doesn't seem to care. Ya know, when I send him some short email just to say I love you -- it would count for something if he sent one in return. It would count for something if he returned any of what I do for him. I make it a point to touch him, or to kiss his cheek. I rub his back, his shoulders -- you name it. I make him dinner all the time, and lunch as well. I write him little emails, or leave little notes around. I feel increasingly lonely.

I keep finding ways to not be around him. When I look at him, and I see him playing with our kitten, and loving our kitten, I hate to say that I feel jealous. He seems to give everything love but me. I leave him alone, and don't bother coming out of the bedroom. I will not get what I really want.

I want to try to create romance or some passion. He doesn't seem to want to, or he doesn't know how to. At this point, I am tired of waiting -- and God knows I have for such a long time. What can I do to ignite a fire in this relationship and make him WANT to be more romantic and passionate? This is so frustrating to me, and I am at my wit's end.

Any help is appreciated.

I think it is time to end my 8+year relationship with my boyfriend. I feel terrible about it, but it is going to be even more difficult once we have broken up, as we work in the same place, and currently live together. We have various issues, including lack of sex, he has no future plans that I haven't suggested, and his inability to commit to any decision without my support. This may be seen as him completely supporting me, but I feel he is not being true to himself, and I can't see a future that I don't completely organise myself. I feel myself resenting him, and its not fair to either of us. We have talked about it, tried to fix it for 6 months or so, there's been no real progress.

But now, this means working together every day in a relatively small work environment (20 people) - I should say its my workplace, my career, he's working there until he 'decides' what he wants to do, though he's committed for a year or so more at least. Plus we share a dog, and all housing stuff. Well, actually its mostly my furniture, I set it all up before he moved in, but I don't want to leave him with nothing - I still care for him.

This is going to be tough - there'll be no grieving period, no space. I think we are both mature enough to handle it OK in public, but I'm putting off making the move because it is going to be so awkward. Any suggestions or words of advice? Support? You can even say I'm making a mistake if you like, but right now I can't change how I feel - we've both tried.

am really trying to figure out what to do here. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. I recently moved out of the state to live with him. My parents dont like him because he has done said some things to them that have been reall yrude. Also after three weeks living with him my sister comes up to visit him and we go out drinking and he gets really angry and slaps me because he thought i was hitting on his best friend. I have fallen in love with him and really think that this is something he would never do again and that we can work through (i.e. jealously and trust issues). I just want to do the right thing. If my parents were behind this i would be completely fine with staying with him because i know everyone gets heated. We use to fight a lot because of the long-distance thing and i wasnt completely over my ex. That is where most of our trust issues stem. All of his friends think we should stay together. I just wonder if im selling myself short or if im blinded by the attraction.

Before i moved up we went out to look for engagement rings. I am really into him and know he's a really good guy, it just seems like the rest of my family doesnt see that. They have reason to because he's been mean to my mom in the past because shes never excepted it from the get go. Ugghh.. My friends have all met him and think that he is a good guy. PLease help!

My boyfriend's best friend flew in from New York last weekend so we took him out to a nice dinner. Upon arriving at the restaurant, my boyfriend realized that he had forgotten his wallet at home. I offered to pay for dinner, under the agreement that my boyfriend would pay me back the next day for him and his friend. When the check came, the bill was over $100. That may not sound like that much, but I'm a recent grad who is struggling just to pay the bills.

The next day when I brought the check up, he jokingly called me a loan shark. Now I'm not sure what to do. On one hand, I'm annoyed he didn't pay me back first thing — he knows I'm struggling to make ends meet and his income is nearly three times mine! On the other hand, I don't want to make him think I'm financially dependent on him. What should I do? Should I ask for the money back again or just drop it?

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