Orange Legs and Bellybutton Rings

Yep, that's Miami Swim in a nutshell. We'll be bringing you a few reviews from the Miami Swim 09 shows, surely there's a little bit more substance than that, but we must say this first. Now, we're not likening Swim Week to New York Fashion Week (or even Australia Fashion Week for that matter) but it is, after all, a Mercedes Benz sponsored Fashion 'Week' (the reason we title it just, "Miami Swim" is that it's only three days long) and so it deserves a little bit of criticism. Even just for fun. First off, does the sight of orangey-red bodies skeeve you guys out as much as it does us? Just looking at the models this weekend made us feel like taking a bath in sunblock. We're living in an age where women by and large are finally foregoing their tanning booth subscriptions to avoid looking like a raisin by the time they're thirty, and yet, you'd never think so judging by the Miami runways. How do these designers not have better taste? Sure, when showing swimwear people probably want to see a model with a slight tan. But, at least to us, a 'slight tan' does not mean 'an orange body'. Is there no middle ground? That said, there were some other major fashion no-nos that we just have to shoutout now before we move on. Namely, belly button rings, implants (?), butterfly tattoos, and straw cowboy hats. Is there no justice in the world? There are plenty of sane fashion people down in Miami this weekend, are they too drunk to care? Okay. Pardon all the rhetorical questions. On to the swimsuits...